Pregnant stripper...not hot.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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