Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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