Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
