This dress was meant to end up on your floor
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
