He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
