he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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