did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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