Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
