I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
