Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
