oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
