Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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