he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
