i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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