Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
