You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
im six kinds of drunk right now
stop calling my apartment porn island.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
