our cab driver is having phone sex.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
