Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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