You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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