it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Randomize
