i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize