I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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