Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
