Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I just found a bag of teeth...
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
