We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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