i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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