As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
