I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
