So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
