it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
