I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
