you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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