Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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