Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
her vagine was all disorganized.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
