did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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