Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
