I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
