it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
