12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize