what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
