apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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