It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
