you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
