Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
