I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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