im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize