Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize