Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
