actually, I'm a sock model
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I currently don't understand fingers.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
