i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
there is puke in my bra ... again
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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