i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I faked an abortion last night.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
