wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
