let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
