She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
