what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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