the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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