yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
