...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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