if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Randomize