i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
