We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
