Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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