he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
No subtext here. People are naked.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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