should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
