Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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