Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
