3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
